By now, everyone on Facebook has seen at least one friend repost some variation of the following meme.
Aside from its blatant disrespect for proper punctuation use, I have another problem with this meme, as well as pages like this one, which nearly 2 million people on the ‘Book like. And that’s the message that they send.
Now a few of those women on the top row are probably too thin to be considered healthy. (And no one can have as much plastic surgery as Heidi Montag and be considered “healthy.”) But Keira Knightly? She’s naturally thin and has muscle definition. And as long as she’s not starving herself or overexercising, then there’s nothing unhealthy about that. But instead of celebrating that as long as they’re healthy, both naturally thin and curvy body types are hot, this meme has to argue that one of them is better than the other.
As for the “Curvy girls are better than skinny girls” page, I wouldn’t have an issue with it if it were called something like “Curvy Girls Rock,” because they do. But so do women of other bodily proportions. And as one of those, I am fed up.
Now, before you have the urge to scream “why don’t you go enjoy your lettuce in hell, you skinny bitch!” let me explain:
When I was 15 or so, I remember reading an issue of CosmoGirl or Seventeen or some other bullshit teen magazine with an article proclaiming “Real Women Have Curves!” And I immediately thought to my gaunt, 90-pound, flat-chested, already-insecure self “Now I’m not even a real woman!! I’m some sort of androgynous freak!! No one will ever love me!! WAHHHHHHHHH!!”
I understand what those magazines were trying to do, but by attempting to make one subset of girls feel more confident about their bodies, they effectively lowered the self-esteem of others.
Don’t get me wrong; I now appreciate my petite figure and above-average metabolism. That doesn’t mean I’m immune to the laws of physiology though, and consistent bad habits and unhealthy behavior catch up to me, as they do with anyone. But when I do gain weight — which I did to the tune of 20 pounds during my alcohol-heavy and exercise-minimal college years — it doesn’t go straight to my butt or hips, but, rather, to my stomach and face. Yep, that’s as unflattering as it sounds:
What a steady diet of beer, tots and ranch does to my face. It’s not good.
So even if I only ate chocolate-covered bacon and deep-fried cream puffs for a year, it would just turn me into a bobble-headed chipmunk caricature, not a curvalicious diva.
Basically, any time I’m exercising and eating right and, consequently, at a healthy weight for my height, it means I’m a 110-pound waif. And there’s not a lot I can do about it, just as there’s not a lot a naturally curvy woman can do to fit into a pair of size 2 jeans.
Now, does this mean I’m not a “real woman”? Of course not. But if you’re an insecure 15-year-old bombarded by messages screaming “REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES,” it’s going to take you a while to believe otherwise.
I understand I’m probably in the minority here, and that society is much more unfair toward those who aren’t naturally svelte. And the media consistently portray thin women as the ideal to which all us ladies should strive, and that makes a lot of women feel bad about their bodies and go on insane diets and do other crazy things to conform to that ideal.
But is tearing down another group of women the solution to making the other group feel better? Of course not. And, unfortunately, the media gon’ do what the media gon’ do. But why do we, as individual women, feel the need to perpetuate it on sites like Facebook and Pinterest? It’s not like there is a finite amount of body confidence to go around. Just because one woman has a lot of it doesn’t mean there’s less left for everyone else.
So instead of doing that, how about we celebrate women with healthy bodies of all sizes, from pear-shaped women to boy-shaped women and every option in between? I bet then all of us — not just some — would feel better about ourselves, and we could starting learning to love whichever beautiful body we’re so blessed to have in the first place.
Squirrel Thoughts 
Posted by De on August 25, 2012 at 7:11 am
No one in their right mine would consider any of the top girls hot. You fucking idiot, so if you want to make a true statement don’t use the ugliest you find.
Posted by Allison on August 25, 2012 at 7:37 am
Well, that does still leave all the people in the left and center mines, though. They likely outnumber those in the right mine.
Also, I just used the meme that was floating around, so you should probably get in touch with its creator instead of spewing profanities at me. Thanks.
Posted by julietjoyce on January 23, 2013 at 9:52 pm
I think the angry person who posted above did not read anything you wrote LOL
I’m in the middle of doing an entry about similar stuff and came across yours. Well said 🙂 -a fellow skinny
Posted by Briana on September 10, 2013 at 10:44 pm
I couldn’t agree more. I firmly believe all people are beautiful because of the body they have, whatever it looks like. Women should put more effort into building each other up, instead of dragging others down and trying to say x group is better than y group.
Posted by Dragnfli on December 21, 2013 at 4:34 pm
When I was a teenager, I was really thin too. I have skinny little bird bones but I also have large knobby knees and I had a pooch belly. Years went by and then middle age happened. I still have skinny legs with big knees but there’s this big apple-shaped body on top.
I was teased unmercifully for being so skinny, their favorite name for me was Toothpick. I hated being skinny. Now I wish I was, not that thin, but much closer than I am now.
Posted by Allison on December 29, 2013 at 11:12 am
It’s hurtful both ways, isn’t it? I hope we’re moving closer to acceptance of all body types. Thanks for reading!
Posted by Die Reise meines Leben on December 29, 2013 at 7:53 am
I am with you. Regardless of size, a healthy body is the most important asset each of us can have.
Posted by Allison on December 29, 2013 at 10:36 am
Glad to hear! Thanks for reading!
Posted by britblog1967 on December 31, 2013 at 3:40 pm
I totally agree with your post. Women are women based on their anatomy, not body shape. Women need to stop bashing their own gender. Why can’t women focus on positive talk about body image and bodies, no matter the shape, rather than slamming those w/ the body type they don’t have?
As for the first comment, I love your witty response! Two mines of people surely outweigh one mine 🙂 And I disagree w/ De’s opinion anyway. Miss Knightly has a rockin’ bod. Hello abs! She’s naturally small and it appears she works out. Skinny girls don’t naturally have six packs.
As for the meme all together, it’s ridiculous. Heidi Montag isn’t even a human, and that’s not a slam based on her body shape or type or whatever; she’s just mostly silicon or whatever they’re using these days. As for Marilyn, that picture was taken at her very highest weight. According to two biographies I recently read about the icon, she was typically pretty small, and I think her ample bosom and short stature gave her the appearance of being a lot curvier. Finally, in that photo of Elizabeth Taylor, I’d hardly consider her to be curvy, or all that different from the “girls up top” other than having larger breasts, or at least the appearance of such based on her suit. (As a former fit model for Fergie, I can attest that celebrities wear all types of specially designed clothing to give the appearance of more of this or less of that…as do many women in general).
Okay, stepping off soap box now 🙂 Great post though!
Posted by Allison on January 2, 2014 at 8:03 am
The expectations of what women should look like are really getting out of control, aren’t they? Trying to bring other women down only hurts more people. Thanks for reading, Brit!
Posted by Eri Berry on January 2, 2014 at 10:38 am
Yep, being thin is normal too. It’s not a question of what’s hot or not. It’s just that some people’s bodies are made that way.
Posted by Allison on January 5, 2014 at 7:43 am
Exactly. The sooner we can accept that, the happier we’ll all be. Thanks for reading!
Posted by Update: Facing my childhood fear of ‘The Green Ribbon’ | Squirrel Thoughts on January 10, 2014 at 7:46 pm
[…] as Jenny also led to the most unflattering photo of me ever, hands down. And there are a lot of unflattering photos of me out there, trust […]