Archive for January, 2010

14 Jan

‘Battlestar Galactica’: Not even once

Posted by Allison | Squirrel Thoughts in Funny Things That Happen To Me.

The other day, Zach uttered the 10 words any self-respecting girlfriend fears most.

“I think I’m going to become a ‘Battlestar Gallactica’ guy.”

My mind started to race. “Oh God, did he really just say that? Am I dreaming? Is this just an awful, awful nightmare? Will I wake up any minute, with my only somewhat geeky boyfriend sound asleep beside me?”

When I realized that I was, unfortunately, wide awake, my heart began pounding so hard I thought my chest might explode.  In between my ragged breaths, I noticed the room spinning. I may have even blacked out for a moment; it was too chaotic to tell. “Is this what my life has come to?!?”

All hyperbole aside, this story is basically true. Zach has crossed the threshold from part-time nerd (Ooh, look, a Wookie!)  to full-blown geekazoid (Hey guysh, wanna check out my Cylon bobblehead collection? Hey guysh, where ya goin’? Guysh?). And all it took was three hours (read: eternity) of crap like this invading our television.

I would consider some sort of rehab program, but, alas, “Battlestar Galactica” is a lot like meth — you try it once, and suddenly things like personal hygeine and the outside world no longer matter. (Plus, my research indicates no such program exists. Yet.)

I can’t count how many times over the past few days Zach has gushed about Edward James Olmos and how he couldn’t wait for the next disc of ‘BG’ to arrive via NetFlix. I think I even heard him whispering to himself in robot binary code the other day. I’m starting to fear I’ll never again get to watch any of the completely normal movies or shows I enjoy, like “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel,” on our TV. At least not for another four seasons.

Though my situation is hopeless, I feel I can still help others on the verge of being afflicted by this terrible, terrible condition. Ladies, if your significant other even mentions the words ‘battlestar’ or ‘galactica,’ run. Save yourself before it’s too late. Seriously, just get the frak out of there. You can thank me later.

What the hell does that even mean??

12 Jan

You stay classy, Conan

Posted by Allison | Squirrel Thoughts in Life and Such, Other.

A man with wit and class? This is why I will love you, Conan, forever and ever. Amen.

11 Jan

FOX + Sarah = true love (hopefully)

Posted by Allison | Squirrel Thoughts in Politics/Society/Seriouser Stuff.

I didn’t think I’d delve into politics quite this early, but that damn Sarah Palin is at it again, and I just can’t resist.

At first, I stared in horror as I read about her becoming a political correspondent for FOX News. Mainly because:

1) I do not like her. Aside from our shared love for running, I don’t agree with her on anything, politically or ideologically. She’s more concerned with advancing her own image than with improving America, despite what her supporters say. Her ignorance of world affairs troubles me. Anytime I hear her name in the news, I cringe.

2) FOX News is an insult to journalism. Seriously, FOX, how many more former Republican candidates/officeholders will you put on air before you drop the laughable “fair and balanced” slogan? (Granted, all 24-hour news channels insult journalism. FOX is definitely the worst though.)

But then I started thinking: FOX News is the perfect place for Sarah Palin, and her new gig there *hopefully* means she won’t run for president in 2012.  The fact that she resigned as governor of Alaska with nearly half her term left proves she’s more concerned about making money and basking in the media spotlight than enacting positive policy. And she supposedly has a degree in journalism (though that doesn’t really matter at FOX). So if that’s what she wants, why not give it to her?

It’s not like people who regularly watch FOX News do so for its “fair and balanced” news coverage; they want to hear someone tell them that the way they think is right. (Yes, I know that’s a blanket statement that does not apply to every single person who has ever watched FOX News. But it does describe many FOX devotees.) And the network panders to this exact tendency.

She can’t really do that much damage, can she? Honestly, more opportunities the woman has to speak on national television = more opportunities for Americans to realize how unqualified she is to run for president in 2012. Or ever.

Unfortunately, there is one major caveat to this: It could backfire. What if this is part of her evil, evil (so, so evil) plan to take over the country in three years? Depending on the political climate when the election rolls around, normal, non-right-wing conservative nuts might actually like what she’s saying. She could make a serious run for the presidency, and she could even (ohdeargodpleasedontletthishappen) win.

In which case, I would probably shoot myself. I realize I could just leave the country, but I’ve decided a world in which Sarah Palin can be elected president is a world not worth living in. Do you suppose Sarah would let me borrow her gun?

11 Jan

It’s ‘Pflu’ season for 2010 Grizzlies

Posted by Allison | Squirrel Thoughts in Squirrels/bunnies/mascots.

I’m going to start this post with a disclaimer: I don’t know that much about football. The only team I have any sort of attachment to is the Griz. I know very little about play calls, formations, coaching decisions, etc.; I’m usually just watching whichever player (I think) has the ball (I fall for fake hand-offs quite often). I’m easily distracted by mascots. For me, following the Griz has more to do with school (and state) pride than the nuances of the game.

University of Montana image

That being said, I think I’m gonna like the new guy at the helm for the Griz. I went to the Friday afternoon press conference officially introducing him and his staff, and Robin Pflugrad seems like he’ll be much more media-friendly than his predecessor, Bobby Hauck. (I don’t especially want to rehash the Kaimin incident here, so let’s just say the news of his departure to UNLV didn’t really upset me.)

Coach Pflu spent a good portion of the media stint emphasizing that his players will live up to the standards of both words in the term “student-athlete,” and that they’ll also be active members of the campus and local communities in addition to the Grizzly football community. He also has a good sense of humor. (He quipped a couple of times that “we’re going to run the ball a lot.” I thought he was making light of the fact that we’re losing our star receiver but keeping our star running back for another year. Yeah, that’s how unqualified I am to write about football.)

I know I’m probably reading too much into it, but I hope these comments mean Coach Pflu will not allow incidents of players breaking the law, or otherwise acting in an unsavory manner, to continue to plague this program.

Some people would argue these sorts of qualities are not important in a coach — that the ability to win games trumps all. I don’t agree. I want to feel proud of my team for the way the players and coaches represent the school and Montana, not just for racking up wins in a weak conference. And I don’t want one of the few stories the national sports media write on the Griz to be about the coach stonewalling the student newspaper I worked at. These expectations are not unreasonable, and I hope Coach Pflu lives up to them.

10 Jan

Conan to NBC: Eff off

Posted by Allison | Squirrel Thoughts in Life and Such, Other.

I’ve been a fan of Conan O’Brien for more than a decade, ever since I started watching  “Late Nite” as a 12-year-old insomniac. For a few years, I even had an alarm set on my Timex to go off as soon as his show started to ensure I wouldn’t miss it. Yes, that’s how devoted I was. I mean, what kind of crazy person wouldn’t want to watch such comedic genius as “The Year 2000” and “The Men Without Hats Conversation Channel”?

I love you, Conan!! (NBC photo)

Now, I admit I haven’t been quite as committed to Conan in the past few years, mainly because my newspaper night shifts interfered. And I only occasionally watch him on “The Tonight Show” because my aforementioned insomnia requires me to hop in bed to read myself to sleep a couple of hours before my actual bedtime.

Despite my wavering commitment, I’d like to say two words to NBC and Jay Leno for giving Conan the boot from his current time slot: Suck it. Hard. (OK, I added a third word after the fact, because I’m just that angry.)

How anyone could possibly think Jay Leno is funny continues to be one of Life’s Great Mysteries, and the fact that NBC gave him a primetime show so he can make those idiotic statements he calls “jokes” was asinine. Because Jay Leno is not funny. He’s incredibly lame, actually. His jokes are so stale and predictable that a 2-year-old could guess the punch lines and probably be too smart to find them amusing.

Or maybe he is funny, and I’m just bitter because he’s built a career around making fun of copy editors’ unfortunate mistakes. (As if the newspaper industry doesn’t already have it bad enough. Thanks a lot, asshole.)

Whether he’s funny or not, the network is now rewarding his poor ratings by moving him back to Conan’s hard-earned spot. (Well, they’re actually scrambling to save their asses, but same diff.) Granted, he’ll only have half an hour to jack-ass about, but that doesn’t change the fact that NBC agreed five years ago that Conan would replace him. Seriously, Jay, five years wasn’t long enough for that to sink in? (“For Mr. Leno, who made no secret that he was unhappy about being moved from ‘The Tonight Show,’ the change represents something of a vindication …” reports the NYT.) How about you do us all a favor: stop being the Brett Favre of late-night TV, go put on your leather jacket and play with your cars and motorcycles, OK?

If only NBC didn’t have “30 Rock” and the Winter Olympics, because I’d boycott their once-uncrappy network altogether, save Conan, if he stays. But I hope he tells them to eff off and heads to FOX or somewhere else. Why? Because he — and America — deserve better. That’s why.

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »