Alternate Squires Family photos

A few years ago now, when Awkward Family Photos was starting to get big, Zach went on a random tirade when he thought it was really funny to find photos depicting an “Alternate Squires Family” to post on my Facebook wall. Since he thinks he’s just so damn clever, he’s been begging me to blog about it since. Because he recently went through all the work to dig them up on Facebook, I’m finally obliging.

First, here’s a photo of the Real Squires Family, probably from around 1998, for context:

Bill, Beckie, Allison, Jason. We're all totally normal, trust me.

From right to left: Bill, Beckie, Allison, Jason. We’re all totally normal. Don’t let my mom’s visor deceive you.

Why would you ever feel the need to poke fun at such a cute little non-weird family? I have no idea. But once Zach got started, there was no stopping him.

First up: Asian Squires Family, in which Asian Jason was banished to the corner away from the rest of our little Asian family for an unknown reason:

My mom doesn't get it.

My mom doesn’t get it.

Then on to the Alternate Squires Family Vacation, during which “I” wore some really flattering shorts:

Family vacation

Amish Squires Family:


’80s Squires Family, in which Zach implies that my brother is a girl. I’m sure it was an accident:


(For the record: My brother is a boy.) (We’re pretty sure.)

Alternate Squires Family That is Somehow More Normal Than the Real Squires Family Even Though They Don’t Know How to Use a Couch:


And finally, the overwhelming fan favorite: Alternate Squires Family in which Allison and Jason are Monkeys, which Zach apparently thought would make a great birthday present to me:



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