I had a massive revelation recently. Out of all the various chores you have to do to keep your house from looking like a hoarder’s, I’ve always loathed vacuuming the most. Mainly because I’m terrified I’m going to run over the cord and get electrocuted and die, and then who would be around to take Pancake’s selfies for her or defend against the rise of the Oxford comma-nistas or remind you when it’s Squirrel Appreciation Day?
I’m 60 percent sure that “don’t run over the vacuum cleaner cord because you’ll get electrocuted” is one of those urban myths perpetuated during childhood, like “mixing Pop Rocks and soda will make your stomach explode” or “if you cross your eyes for too long, they’ll stay like that.” (Sooooooooo … I kinda-sorta seriously believed that one until college. College, people. Good thing “True or false: If you cross your eyes for more than 10 minutes, they’ll stay like that” wasn’t a question on the SAT.)
For some reason, the vacuum cleaner one has managed to stick with me well into adulthood, and we’re practically living in squalor because of it. A few days ago, something deep in my subconscious must have clicked, because it finally dawned on me: The scene in the classic ’80s animated film “The Brave Little Toaster” in which everything’s just going to hell for the talking appliances, and then Kirby the Vacuum eats his cord and dies — DIES — apparently gave me PTSD that’s lasted for 20-plus years.
This is actually one of the more lighthearted scenes in this fucked-up movie. Seriously.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t find an actual clip of that scene in the movie, so you’ll just have to rely upon the photo above and your trust in me to believe it was absolutely horrifying and a totally legit reason to be afraid of the vacuum cleaner for the rest of your life.
Who else remembers this movie? Did it also scar you for life?
Squirrel Thoughts 