Seriously, what the eff is going on in Kalispell?

What is it, Kalispell? Is it the fresh mountain air your residents breathe in while admiring the spectacular view of the Missions from their backyards? Is that what makes the people in your town certifiable loonies?

Case in point:

I’ll apologize right now for the suckiness of my phone pictures. But trust me, there’s a horse there, and it’s using the g.d. cross walk.

Zach and I saw this girl walking a horse through the cross walk of a (relatively) busy street. Perhaps they were simply rehearsing for a new anti-DUI commercial, since apparently we’re encouraging people to drink and ride horses instead of drink and drive in Montana. Or perhaps they were running late for cowboy church, which starts promptly at 5:59.

But come on! This is the kind of thing I get defensive about when I visit other places and tell people I’m from Montana. “Oh, so do you ride a horse to school?” No, moron. It’s not 1850 there. We have cars. And we’ve at least made it to the mid-90s. How do I know this?

This is how:

What’s that? Noooooo, I can’t still rap all the lyrics to “I Wish”! What kind of weirdo could do that? (Editor’s note: She can.)

 

That’s right people. This is not a joke. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A JOKE. Skee-Lo, maker of such a smash hit as “I Wish,” will be at the Kalispell Elks Club for one night and one night only to bedazzle you (that’s right, bedazzle you) with his smooth rendering of “I Wish.” On repeat. Still on repeat. OK, we’ll throw “The Burger Song” in there, too,  just to mix things up. But then it’s back to “I Wish.” And when concertgoers leave, they’ll realize they’ve been magically transported back to 1995. Starter jackets everywhere …

Don’t get me wrong: I love my home state as much as the next born-and-raised Montanan. But man, sometimes …

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