Squirrel Thoughts

Hey meme-makers, stop ruining the moment.

While awaiting the start of “The Hunger Games” at the theater the other day, a preview for “Titanic” in 3-D came on. Without missing a beat, I turned to Zach and, much to his chagrin, started reciting lines from the preview, perfectly in sync with the characters. (“They called it the ship of dreams. And it was. It really was.“)

See, like every 12-year-old girl growing up in America circa 1997-98, I was obsessed with that mesmerizing blockbuster. More precisely, I was obsessed with the one and only Leonardo DiCaprio. (Still am, really. Though I hear he’s a bit horrid-looking in “J. Edgar.”)

Now that it’s returned for one more magical stint in theaters — in 3-D, no less — I’m determined to re-create the experience all over again.

Which means I’ll need to watch it in the theater no fewer than five times.

And buy every copy of Tiger Beat and BOP and clip out every photo of Leo I can find.

And start a collection of said clippings, modge-podging my favorites to the outside of a manila folder that I keep with me at all times. Duplicates will line my locker, natch.

And record “My Heart Will Go” on cassette tape every time it plays on Star Station, Helena’s infamous purveyor of soft rock and adult contemporary hits.

And purchase not only the regular movie soundtrack, but also the second bonus release, called “Back to Titanic.” [That’s right. There was a second “Titanic” soundtrack, and I spent my (parents’) hard-earned money on it at ShopKo.]

And stay up until 2 in the morning with Ange-Pange, waiting for even more Leo photos to load on dial-up AOL. Yep, our love for him was so strong, not even dial-up Internet could keep us from expressing our devotion.

I know there are plenty other ways I could re-create that special time in my life, but I really shouldn’t embarrass myself by listing them here.