Squirrel Thoughts

Last Friday, after a week of suspense following her untimely encounter with a crazy-ass, uninsured drunk driver, I had to say goodbye to my beloved Jetta.

It was a bit emotional, I’m not gonna lie. Sure, she may have had a few flaws, but when you’re with the same car for seven years, you get a little attached, imperfections and all.

Now, in times like this, we could choose to wallow in our sorrows and dwell on the tragedy that befell our dear, sweet Jetta. But let’s try to remember the good times instead.

Like when she couldn’t ford an inch-deep creek without bottoming out and losing half her front bumper.

Or her infamous malfunctioning-alarm stage, which convinced everyone on my block that I was a certified psychopath.

Or the time she broke down on the way back to Great Falls from Missoula, and I had to take a Greyhound home, using what little change I could scrounge up to haggle for bus station bananas because no restaurants in the podunk towns along the way accepted debit cards.

OK, so it turns out she actually kind of sucked. Nevertheless, she will live in perpetuity, thanks to:

a) Google Street View

2) The fact that the accident happened on a Sunday/holiday/slow news day, and the local NBC affiliate had nothing better to report on.

Rest in peace, dear Jetta. Rest in peace.