I must leave this place immediately

Someone posted this photo to the Facebook page of a local TV station recently:

Snake

That is a snake. What kind of snake? A huge-ass one. Just chillin’ out on a sidewalk, right in the middle of the town in which I live.

This is the worst thing that’s ever happened.

The worst part about the worst thing that’s ever happened? The corner listed with the photo is wrong, because it does not exist. (Avenues intersect with streets, not other avenues.) So I don’t even know where it actually was.

IT COULD BE ANYWHERE.

It could be somewhere I run a lot.

It could be right outside our apartment building.

It could be under our bed, waiting for me to go to sleep so it can slither around my arm and hiss in my face, causing me to scream myself to death.

THIS PLACE IS NO LONGER SAFE. I MUST LEAVE IT IMMEDIATELY.

7 responses to this post.

  1. Weird thing — as I walked from my car to my building at work THAT SAME DAY, I saw a 2-3 foot snake on the sidewalk — I reached for my phone as soon as the shock wore off, but it was too late — he/she was slipping into a little drain pipe that runs under the concrete sidewalk. It was WEIRD — not something I expected to see. So two snakes in GF in less than 24 hours — yup, might be time to skedaddle.

    Reply

  2. Muhahaha!! I know this is from last month, but still worth a very good laugh!
    I hope you found that little bugger. I also hope you didn’t see the recent picture of me with an anaconda wrapped around my neck. Can we still be friends??

    Reply

  3. A lovely guy? That huge scary snake is lovely? I share your anxieties, my friend!

    PS. Just stumbled upon your blog today and I am enjoying it!

    Reply

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