Someone posted this photo to the Facebook page of a local TV station recently:
That is a snake. What kind of snake? A huge-ass one. Just chillin’ out on a sidewalk, right in the middle of the town in which I live.
This is the worst thing that’s ever happened.
The worst part about the worst thing that’s ever happened? The corner listed with the photo is wrong, because it does not exist. (Avenues intersect with streets, not other avenues.) So I don’t even know where it actually was.
IT COULD BE ANYWHERE.
It could be somewhere I run a lot.
It could be right outside our apartment building.
It could be under our bed, waiting for me to go to sleep so it can slither around my arm and hiss in my face, causing me to scream myself to death.
THIS PLACE IS NO LONGER SAFE. I MUST LEAVE IT IMMEDIATELY.