Story of my life.
The jury duty system in this country is messed up. Why? Because I have never been called for, let alone served on, a jury. And I am part of .05 percent of the population who actually wants to perform this civic duty.
Yes, you read that right. I want to do jury duty.
Why? I dunno, it just seems like it would be interesting. I am probably romanticizing it in my mind, thinking whatever trial I would be on would be some high-profile case with lots of twists and turns and gotcha! moments.
And now, my dear husband got to serve on a jury, and it is Just. Not. Fair.
Here’s what would be fair: Let me be on the jury. I have four great reasons why:
1) I have a pretty good understanding of the legal system. I edit and discuss cases in the news, and my husband is a lawyer, so I automatically understand How These Things Work better than 97 percent of the general population. Do you know what a motion in limine or voir dire are? Well, I don’t really, either. But I do know they are things that go on in court, so I’m one step ahead of you there.
2) I have extensive experience pretending to be a witness at mock trials. Zach was on trial team in law school, and they had to practice a lot before competition. They needed people to serve as witnesses in the case, and I was basically the big gun they called in when no one else would do. I even schooled a real, live lawyer once when she was questioning me and she got her facts mixed up. Then, drunk on the power of justice, I was all “The truth? You can’t handle the truth! I’m putting the system on trial! No, you’re out of order!” It was my finest moment yet.
3) I’ve watched some shows and movies involving juries, so I pretty much got this thing. My favorite? Definitely William Hung and his Hung Jury.
4) Because I actually want to be on one, for crying out loud! How often do you come across that sort of enthusiasm during selection? Isn’t it mostly just people hemming and hawing, doing whatever they can to get out of it? Telling you they can’t do it because their great aunt’s cousin’s chicken just died and they absolutely cannot miss the funeral? Wouldn’t it be refreshing for a change to have someone eager and willing to fulfill her civic duty? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!
Put me in, Judge! I’m ready!
Squirrel Thoughts 
Posted by David Sherman on July 9, 2014 at 7:07 pm
IDEA! Make you a Permanent Juror — you would basically show up to court every day and take a seat in the jury box for whatever high-profile case was scheduled for the day! Let’s face it, all of these amateur jurors only serve once or twice in a lifetime — but with Juror Alison, the court would get an experienced, seasoned, veteran juror!
Posted by Miss Diagnoses on July 9, 2014 at 7:07 pm
Some people don’t want squirrels to serve on juries … LOL. I would rather have a wisdom tooth extracted than do jury duty, and guess what I just got in the mail? I am already planning what I’ll say to convince the selection committee not to pick me.
Posted by Briana on July 9, 2014 at 7:08 pm
I too dream of serving on a jury someday. They need to quit calling jerks who don’t actually want it and ask us!
Posted by Nana on July 9, 2014 at 7:26 pm
I cannot begin to agree with your article, we have a son going through the system its horrid.
Posted by Dragnfli on July 9, 2014 at 9:16 pm
I have been a part of a voire dire. That’s as close as I have come to jury duty. Many are called, few chosen. They need to choose me next time. And you.
Posted by Kimberly M. Ringer on July 10, 2014 at 7:09 am
I don’t mind jury duty as a whole. The only problem is that the first time I was chosen was for a high profile rape case in my area and we were sitting in that box for over a month. At one point they even wanted us to be sequestered. Ya there was a lot of baulking from the jurors. Ultimately, they didn’t but ya that would have sucked.
I think one if the problems with jury duty is that it doesn’t pay what people would have been paid at work, and you have a chance at not getting paid for a long period of time. Oh sure, you can claim financial hardship, but it rarely works.
Posted by bristlehound on July 10, 2014 at 5:36 pm
I take what you are writing in the sense of what you wanted. You do understand that situations are not to be tackled without some prior education.
Having said that, there is a place for a professional juror I guess, but it is not without its own problems.
It would be possible to have a juror ‘Understand the system’ and therefor allow themselves to be compromised, or perhaps even direct the jury in their own self interest.
A fascinating possibility and one that deserves to be explored, but on both sides of the equation, real people are being effected. Unfortunately, jurors can be and are,influenced one way or the other; this offers a benefit and a cost depending on how you view it.
Not that it’s of any consequence, but my need for being a juror is up there with jumping from a plane – without a parachute.B
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