Archive for the ‘Life and Such’ Category

Happy Vegetarian Awareness Month!

Are you aware I am a vegetarian? Well, now you are! So happy Vegetarian Awareness Month!

OK, I am actually a pescetarian, meaning I eat seafood but no other meat. But we don’t have our own awareness month yet, so I’m jumping on the vegetarians’ bandwagon for now. Though I’d probably be shunned by the “real” vegetarian community, because I still use chicken stock to cook and sometimes I make Zach give me a bite of a meatball if it looks good.

I stopped eating meat about five years ago, mostly because:

a) I don’t really like it (it’s a texture thing, mainly);

2) I feel better when I don’t eat it; and

d) There was this one time when I went to the grocery store and got some sliced turkey at the deli and the guy sliced it way too thick and it was super gross and slimey and had those big pockets of fat and just looking at it made me want to barf.

Zach likes to joke that I’ve been a vegetarian ever since that unfortunate incident, but it was actually a big decision that I put a lot of thought into. Do I miss cheeseburgers sometimes? Of course. Do I have rage blackout whenever I can smell my neighbors cooking bacon? Depends on how hungry I am, cuz I can get real crabby when my blood sugar’s low.

It’s definitely a personal choice that works well for me, and I try not to be the preachy douchebag who sucks all the enjoyment out of eating for people who consume food other than ricepaper cracker flats. I’m sure PETA wouldn’t approve, but I am OK with that.

OK, I'm sure it's not true that I'm never douchey about it. If I'm being douchey about it, tell me. Seres.

OK, I doubt that I’m NEVER douchey about it. But if I’m being douchey about it, tell me. Seres.

Weekend adventure: The Great Pumpkin is in our midst!

Last week one of my co-workers wrote an article about a giant pumpkin grown in Shelby, Mont., that squashed the previous state record for giant pumpkin-ness. It weighs 1,168 pounds, and is currently the 28th largest pumpkin in the country, according to the Great Pumpkin Commonwealth. (Yes, I squeed upon discovering such a commonwealth exists.)

The great pumpkin lives!  (Photo courtesy of Kyle Koschmeder)

The Great Pumpkin lives!
(Photo courtesy of Kyle Koschmeder)

Naturally, I was mesmerized from the get-go.

When I first told Zach the Great Pumpkin was in our midst, he was unimpressed. See, he hails from Eureka, Ill., the former Pumpkin Capital of the World, apparently, so he’s seen his fair share of extreme pumpkins. And, there are some hard feelings regarding Eureka’s fall from pumpkindom, as a neighboring community stole the namesake Libby pumpkin plant, and the title along with it, some years ago. (Never mind that all this happened before Zach was even born.)

Despite his initial lack of enthusiasm, Zach suggested we take a day trip up to Shelby, which is a little more than an hour north of Great Falls, to see the G.P.  So we hopped in the car Saturday afternoon, ready for a little adventure.

We got to Shelby, parked, and realized we should probably find out just where in town this G.P. was located. We looked it up and found out it was reportedly stationed at Shelby Paint and Hardware. Then, in a quintessential small-town moment, we looked up from the phone to realize we were right across the street from it.

We went inside and asked an employee where we could see the Great Pumpkin. Much to our dismay, she informed us that the G.P. had already been purchased and transported to another small town that’s actually only 10 minutes from Great Falls, instead of 75. But, we were in luck, because there was ANOTHER GIANT PUMPKIN outside. This one only weighed about 800 pounds, compared to nearly 1,200 for the actual G.P., but it was still larger than your average gourd.

Still pretty big, though it looked kind of mushy.

Still pretty big, though it looked kind of smooshed.

We weren’t going to settle for second place though, not after dreaming of meeting the Great Pumpkin for three entire days. After a quick stop at the Oasis, a little dive bar next to the hardware store that had an unusual combination of dead animal heads and ladies’ undergarments hanging on the walls, we started back down I-15 to Vaughn, the G.P.’s new residence.

Oasis

About an hour later, we reached the corn maze to which the Great Pumpkin had been sold. We quickly realized we were the oldest people there without kids, and that they wanted us to pay $16 to enter.  The lady at the entrance was kind enough to let us go in without paying when she found out we just wanted to a few moments to take in the Great Pumpkin’s magnificence.

And then, there it was, in all its 1200-pound glory:

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Giant pumpkin portrait

Real Great Pumpkin

A dream is realized!

Since there’s really not much you can do with a giant pumpkin other than get a few pictures taken with it, we left about five minutes later. We thought we had wrapped up our giant-fruit encounters for the day. Boy, were we wrong. Pleasantly, pleasantly wrong.

On our way home, we stopped off at Albertsons to get some dinner ingredients. And, much to our delight (while, mine, at least), we spotted … HIM.

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Blue

An employee at a Spirit Halloween Store, he stood on the sidewalk next to a busy street, dressed up like a giant blueberry, hoping to lure customers into the nearby store with his dance moves and blueberry-ing.  Well, that’s what he said when we pulled up next to him, and I shouted “Hey, what’s your deal?” out the window.

(OK, I guess this wasn’t technically another giant fruit, just a dude dressed up as one. Counts in my book though.)

In the end, it took us about two hours longer than we needed, and we drove 150 miles out of our way, but our adventure to find the Great Pumpkin was worth it. Linus would be proud.

Linus with sign

Linus

Happy Kardashian Day to us!

Man, Zach and I really have this marriage thing all figured out. Not only have I not pushed him off a cliff — like this woman is accused of doing to her husband, whom she also married on June 29 — we have now broken Kim Kardashian’s marriage record of 72 days. Yep, Zach and I have been enjoying our wedded bliss for a full 73 days, and Zach surprised me with flowers at work to mark this important milestone:

Flowers

No, really, that’s what they’re for:

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If not pushing each other off cliffs and lasting longer than a marriage based solely on publicity doesn’t mean we can make it in this crazy world, I don’t know what does.

Drivers of Great Falls: You are legally required not to run over me

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I like Great Falls, a town that often gets a bad rap. It’s one of those towns I feel like I shouldn’t like living in, but I do, in spite of that.

But man, people here GOTS to learn to stop for pedestrians! I don’t think I’ve ever lived anywhere that is so unfriendly toward people getting around on two legs. Granted, the last city I lived in was hippie-dippie Missoula, where more people own bikes than cars and drivers will stop half a mile from a crosswalk just in case there could possibly be someone needing to cross it in the next five minutes.

But Great Falls drivers are the WORST. I’m seriously lucky to be alive to write this at all after the close calls I’ve had — either because people a) didn’t see me running across a crosswalk or 2) my angry reaction when they didn’t stop for me, which may or may not have involved various vocal and physical incarnations of the F-word, could have prompted them to turn around and run me over anyway.

I haven’t quite figured out if people here aren’t stopping because they don’t realize that IT IS THE LAW to give pedestrians the right-of-way when they are crossing at a green light or someone is waiting to cross the street at a marked crosswalk …or if it’s because they are just being assholes.

I do know with absolute certainty that it’s not because drivers don’t see me. How do I know this? Because during winter, I often have no choice but to go running until after it’s already dark. And because I’m not a total idiot, I dress for these runs in attire I know I can be seen in, complete with a glow-in-the-dark neon shirt and a red blinky light.

It looked like this:

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I probably don’t earn cool points with many drivers, but I know you can see me when I look like this. If anyone hits me and then tries to claim it was because they couldn’t see me in the dark, I’d know they’re a g.d. liar, considering that this photo was taken from the International Space Station.

So what’s the deal, GF? Why can’t you be cool and just not almost run me over all the time? I’m just trying to get a little endorphin fix. I run on the trail and away from the main roads as much as I can, but I have to cross some major intersections to get there. Give a squirrel a brake, would ya?

Our baby bunny is sick and we don’t know why

Our sweet little bunnykins has an owie in her eye. 😦

We found out this week that our poor, sweet bunny has glaucoma in one of her eyes.

After we noticed her left eye was looking pink and a little swollen on Saturday night, Zach took her into an emergency clinic on Sunday while I was at work. The vet tech there charged us $95 for being basically useless, but she gave us some ointment and made an appointment for Pancake to see a small animal vet on Wednesday.

When it was noticeably worse and looked like it was protruding on Monday, Zach drove her down to Helena to a vet who would look at her there on the holiday. (Sidenote: Zach wins the Bunny Dad of the Year Award, and my mom and dad win Bunny Grandparents of the Year for picking her and her medicine up and meeting Zach halfway!)

This vet actually performed an exam, and decided, kind of on a last-minute whim, to test her for glaucoma. She discovered that the pressure in Pancake’s left eye is slightly elevated, but she wouldn’t be able to run tests to determine why until the next morning.

Pancake was a very brave bunny and stayed all night at the vet’s office and held very still while the doctors put glaucoma drops in her eye. And she even got a strawberry!

The next day, the vets ran all sorts of tests on her, ruling out some scary possibilities but not all of them. The vet narrowed it down to two probable causes: It could be primary glaucoma, meaning it has no underlying cause, which is treatable, though she would probably have to have her eye removed at some point. The other possibility the vet suspects is called a retrobulbar abscess, which could be what’s causing bunny’s eye to protrude. The prognosis for that is much more grim.

The vet gave us some glaucoma drops to help alleviate the pressure and some pain-relieving drops. These, along with the original ointment, have to be administered three times a day at varying intervals, so we’ve had to wrap Pancake up in a “bunny burrito,” hold her eye open and drop them in. She’s not a fan of this, but hopefully it’s making her feel better the rest of the time.

Fortunately, Pancake’s behavior has remained pretty normal throughout all this, which is a good sign and hopefully means she’s not in a lot of pain. (Though bunnies, evolutionarily speaking,  are infamously good at hiding signs of sickness.)

So, we are going to give her the drops over the next week, and if it improves, it’s probably primary glaucoma. If it doesn’t improve, it could be the abscess, and we might have to make some tough decisions.

We’re trying to stay positive and hope for the best, because we love our fwuffy wuffy bunnykins so much and want her to live a long, happy life filled with hay and bananas and binkies and hopping and chewing on stuffs. If you have any positive vibes to spare, please send them Pancake’s way!