Squirrel Thoughts

(DISCLAIMER: I in no way condone the mocking of Grizzly Athletics, UM or the fair state of Montana. That being said, the following video is hilarious.)

Up next, straight from the If You Can’t Make Fun Of Yourself Then Who Can You Make Fun Of Department, is a video put together by someone affiliated with Eastern Washington University. And, despite my affliation to the video’s target, I have to say: Well done, Eastern Washington. Well done.

OK, comparing Montana to the Third Reich is a bit over the top, but I suppose comparing anyone you don’t like/disagree with to Hitler is hip these days. And listening to people speak in German is funny no matter the subject.

And I’m sure it’s really only amusing to those who follow Montana football or the Big Sky  Conference in general, and especially to those who hate the Griz for (usually) being so good. (If you don’t fall under one of those categories, here’s a rundown: Basically, UM has dominated the conference, brought in record attendance, been a threat for the national championship, yadda yadda, for the past 15 years. This is, ahem, an off year. And EWU recently put in some god-awful red turf.)

Without further ado, the video:

Just goes the show: When everything else is falling apart, at least we still have Monte.

Don’t forget to cast your vote this week!

So, you think your mascot is the coolest around? You think he/she/it deserves to be Capital One’s Mascot of the Year? OK, but only if he/she/it has a better fire-throwing dance than Monte.

A-like so:

What’s that? Your mascot doesn’t have a fire-throwing dance?

Oh. AWK-ward …

Yeah, OK, so those are actually glow sticks, but they could be flaming balls of fury if UM didn’t adhere so strictly to silly fire codes. Point being that since Monte is the only mascot in the field who can throw fire while dancing to a Jimi Hendrix song of the same name, he’s the only one who deserves to win the title. Please vote accordingly.

To fulfill one of my duties as the official UM blogger for Monte’s bid in the Capital One Mascot Challenge, I answered some questions for Danielle at extraordinarymommy.com, who is running the blogger competition. She recently posted profiles of all the bloggers based on the answers to these questions.

Now, because my passion for mascots runs deeper than is typically considered “normal,” my answers were quite long and were edited down significantly for the profile, which is completely understandable. Unfortunately, some of the more humorous excerpts didn’t make the cut, and the world has now been deprived of these thought-provoking observations and theories in mascotology.

ALL THREE MASCOTS!!!

But do not fret, dear Squirrel Thoughts reader — your loyalty has deemed you worthy of an exclusive peek at what some mascot experts are calling “a stroke of pure genius,” as I’ve posted my answers in their entirety below. Enjoy!

Why did you apply to represent the University of Montana for this blogger challenge?
Because win or lose, I love Griz football. But I won’t for a second pretend to understand the nuances of the game ― I know very little about play calls, formations, coaching decisions, etc.; I’m usually just watching whichever player I think has the ball (I fall for fake hand-offs quite often).

I’m more about the camaraderie that comes with experiencing a game at Washington-Grizzly Stadium on UM’s campus. Sure, Wa-Griz only holds about 25,000 people ― small beans compared to the 100,000-plus some big-name college stadiums accommodate ― but you wouldn’t guess that the first time you heard the deafening roar following a Grizzlies touchdown.

And what I lack in football knowledge, I make up for with my expertise in mascotology. That’s right, I just made up a word, but there’s really no other way to explain my obsession with UM’s mascot team, which includes Mo and Rocky, along with the indefatigable Monte, of course.

Plus, I know Griz Nation will step up to crown Monte the first three-time Capital One Mascot of the Year. How can I be so sure? Because, even though he came up short, Monte received more than 200,000 votes during his epic battle with ODU’s Big Blue. That’s more than one-fourth of Montana’s population. You other schools in your densely populated states, with your millions of people and fancy-pants big cities, may think you have an edge in this contest. But face it — when it comes to fan dedication, you ain’t got nothin’ on Griz Nation.

How do girls compare to guys when it comes to being ‘fans’ of their teams/schools/mascots?
I’m not sure about all guys, but my boyfriend doesn’t seem to share my fascination with UM’s mascots. The Griz will be storming toward the end zone, and instead of paying attention to the game, I’m tugging on his sleeve and gesturing toward where Monte and his adorable little-brother mascot, Mo, are doing the worm, and their dopey yet lovable balloon cousin, Rocky, is trying to impersonate them. We both miss the Griz touchdown and have to settle for the replay on the JumboTron. I’m perfectly fine with this, since it’s not like I really understood what was going on anyway. The BF, however, is less than thrilled, and threatens to move seats if I keep distracting him with my silly mascot infatuation.

Share one memorable experience about your time at your University/time at a game/watching a game.
Last December, when the Grizzlies beat Appalachian State to earn a trip to the FCS national championship game, the high temperature in Missoula that day was a crisp 17 degrees. By the start of the second half, a bone-chilling wind had whisked a blizzard into Washington-Grizzly Stadium. But with the score gridlocked at 17, no respectable Griz fan dared leave the stadium, and it was clear this wasn’t going to be your run-of-the-mill football game.

The flurry settled in, completely blotting out the green turf, and I swear you could feel the stadium shake from the collective shivering. The Griz began charging down the field just as the fluffy flakes really started coming down, and the announcer roared, “WELCOME TO MONTANA FOOTBALL!” UM went on to score a touchdown with 1:31 left in the fourth quarter and held off a Mountaineers TD attempt in the final seconds to win. I don’t mean to get all unicorns-and-rainbows on you, but it was kind of magical.

How do you show your school spirit?
I once tackled a fan from our rival school to the ground because he tried to swipe a stuffed Griz paw off my hand. He was twice the size of my 5-foot-2, 110-pound frame. Poor sap never even saw it coming.

Any unique ways you plan to get votes for your mascot?
To know Monte is to love him, so all I have to do is introduce him to the rest of America. Plus, I work in the public relations department at the U, so I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve. 😉

Today, while I was tending to very important work-related matters on Facebook, I came across this article several Griz faithful had reposted.

While I don’t really care about the rest of the article, this quote from the South Dakota quarterback, who recently played Nebraska in front of more than 85,000 people in the Cornhuskers’ stadium, piqued my interest:

“Coming here, we thought this would be the loudest crowd we’ve ever faced,” quarterback Thomas O’Brien said. “But I’d say Montana was quite a bit louder.”

That’s right, biotches. Despite your big-name stadiums that hold two or three times as many people, the 26,000 fans who pack Washington-Grizzly Stadium will still blow you out of the water.

The fact that Wa-Griz is basically in a hole surrounded by sound-deflecting mountains may significantly contribute to the acoustics that enable this deafening crowd noise. However, that is not the point. The point is that Montana is awesome, and every other team that plays in every other stadium can suck it.

Washington-Grizzly Stadium (egriz.com photo)

This also proves Montana pretty much has the best fans in the country. And you know who’s behind every good fan base? Why, the mascot, of course! So go vote for Monte in the Capital One Bowl Mascot Challenge. He’s in a tight battle with that damn nut from Ohio State, who’s trying to get sympathy votes because he can’t defend himself from a Bobcat.

Griz Nation, I’m sure you’ll agree that’s just pathetic. Please, for the love beans, don’t let him lose to that.

Well kids, it’s official — I’ve taken my obsession with mascots to a whole new level.

This is perfectly normal. Trust me.

“But Squirrel,” you may inquire, “how, pray tell, is that even possible?”

Oh, it’s possible, people. It’s possible because I found out this morning that I am the official blogger representing the University of Montana in the Capital One Mascot Challenge.

If you don’t already know, UM mascot Monte is in the running for National Mascot of the Year accolades (a crown he’s won twice in the past, a feat no other mascot has accomplished ever in the history of the world). The Capital One folks teamed up with Danielle Smith at extraordinarymommy.com to present the Capital One Mascot Challenge Blogger Contest, and they chose me as the official blogger to represent UM! This means I am practically famous now!

But it also means it’s my job to get out the word on voting for Monte in the mascot challenge. You can do so here or by texting “Monte” to 69866. (Because the competition was so fierce last week in the matchup between Monte and Old Dominion’s Big Blue, Capital One adjusted the rules so you can only vote 250 times an hour. But still … )

So stay tuned for the most in-depth mascot news Squirrel Thoughts has ever provided! And get out there and vote, people! And you may as well spread the word about the contest while you’re at it. Let’s show the rest of the country what Griz Nation is all about!