Posts Tagged ‘squirrels’

Oh no! I gave birth to a baby squirrel instead of a baby human!

Baby squirrel

OK, not really. But I did hold a baby squirrel! One of Zach’s co-workers brought it into the office after she found it abandoned and helpless in her yard. So I had to go in and meet it, of course.

I thought maybe I shouldn’t hold it because I’m pregnant, and what if it bit me and turned our human baby into a squirrel baby? Or caused something that’s actually biologically possible, like infect us with a nasty disease? The co-worker assured me that she had taken it to the vet, who confirmed it’s disease-free, so I went for it. But if I do give birth to an actual squirrel, we’ll know why.

19 photos I couldn’t bear to delete to make room for the iOS8 update

Apple released the latest iOS update for iPhone today. And, in what may be the firstest of First World Problems, it has everyone complaining about how much storage space is needed to download it. This means deleting a lot of useless apps and selfie duplicates.

Because I’m currently unemployed, I had a lot of time to really comb through my photos and only keep those nearest and dearest to my heart. Here are 19 I just couldn’t bear to part with.

1. This photo of me standing in front of a Beef ‘O’ Brady’s in a snowstorm

BOB'S

We’ve all done it.

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2. This photo of Pancake in which it looks like she doesn’t have ears

Pancake no ears

We did not chop off her ears, I swear. She still has them. We are not bunny abusers. Please don’t report us to animal control.

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3. This photo of a squirrel-shaped nutcracker

Nutcracker

If you’re cracking your nuts with anything else … you’re doing it wrong.

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4. This photo of me holding what I assume is a life-sized replica of Chewbacca as a baby

Chewie

If my child’s head is this big, she’ll be living in my uterus indefinitely.

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5. This photo of the face I made after getting the World’s Worst Haircut

Bad haircut

It kind of made me look like Toad from Super Mario. Or a literal squire.

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6. This photo of when we met The Great Pumpkin

Giant pumpkin

It was, like, really big.

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7. This photo of when I made latkes because I like to pretend I’m Jewish around Hanukkah

Latkes

The smell also lasted much longer than anticipated.

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8. This photo of the time I totally nailed a Pinterest recipe

Pinterest fail

If someone tries to feed you food that looks like this, do not eat it. I repeat: DO NOT EAT IT.

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9. This photo of Zach pretending to get stabbed in the eye with a dart

Dart

He kind of looks like he’s enjoying it …

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10. This photo of a guy on the sidewalk dressed up as a giant bottle of shampoo

Shampoo

I just really admired his enthusiasm.

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11. This photo of the time I spilled pho on my pants at lunch

Pho

If I don’t document these memories, who will?

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12. This photo of blatant desecration of religious symbols in the workplace

Religious discrimination

For those of you who also like to discriminate against “other” religions, this is a menorah and a miniature Festivus pole.

It’s like this newsroom has never even heard of the First Amendment.

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13. This photo of a lawn gnome a business donated to be a prize in an Easter egg hunt I used to plan

Gnome

 You would not believe the knock-down-drag-out that ensued between two fifth-graders battling over this coveted creature.

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14. This photo demonstrating that many people do not understand appropriate use of quotation marks

Quotes

Sooooooo … can I get some Fanta or not?

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15. This photo of a guy on the sidewalk dressed as a Big Blue Blob

Blue guy

WARNING: If you are dressed up as anything — literally, anything — in public, I will stop and take your photo.

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16. This photo of a delicious lobster dinner I enjoyed back in March

Lobster

Back off. It could be the last one I ever get.

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17. This photo of a cardboard cutout of my childhood hero, Scruff McGruff (Chicago, Illinois, 60652)

McGruff

He’s the only thing that kept me from pursuing a life of hard crime.

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18. This photo I took of Pancake in which she looks completely hammered

Drunk Pancake

Jesus. It’s like I want someone to call animal control on us.

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19. This photo of me touching the World’s Largest Purple Spoon (maybe)

Spoon

I think they’re selling themselves short. This is probably the World’s Largest Purple Spoon, at least.

 

I suppose now that these images will live in perpetuity on the Internet, I can delete them from my phone. The emotional toll still might be too much though. Better play it safe and keep them this round.

Some people just don’t want squirrels to succeed

Perhaps you’ve seen this video of a badass squirrel hi-jacking a model airplane and performing some death-defying stunts. It’s delightful.

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Some people, like whoever wrote this article, will try to tell you it’s a hoax. These people are total downers who don’t want you to believe that squirrels are capable of such spectacular accomplishments. Don’t buy into it. This is pure, unadulterated Squirrel Magic, kids. Believe it.

In honor of Squirrel Appreciation Day 2014

Until I have my very own backyard that will allow me to become That Crazy Squirrel Lady, I’ve cultivated a Shrine to Squirrels of sorts on my desk at work. Since Jan. 21 is Squirrel Appreciation Day, here’s a look at this Homage to Squirreliness:

Squirrel Shrine

I received most of these items as gifts. Once people find out that I’m The Squirrel, they just can’t help but purchase every squirrel-inspired item they see for me.

So thanks, guysh! I appreciate that you choose to support my quirky penchant for our bushy-tailed friends instead of being totally weirded out by it. (Or, pretending like you’re not, at least. That’s cool, too.)

2013: Our squirreliest year yet!

2013 was pretty good to me. I got married to my best friend. ALF was at our wedding. (True story.) I have awesome friends, a loving family and the privilege to live and run in Big Sky Country. My obsession passion for punctuation led to my most popular post ever (with an assist from the WordPress editors. Thanks, guys!)

And, lucky us, WordPress has real, live helper monkeys working around the clock to generate year-end stats for Squirrel Thoughts. Let’s take a look!

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Has anyone fed the helper monkeys lately? They’re probably getting hungry.)

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 10,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Hey, thanks!

Sweet thank-you squirrel drawing by this guy.

Sweet thank-you squirrel drawing by this guy.

Thanks to everyone who’s stopped by Squirrel Thoughts this week, no doubt because WordPress editors had the good sense to feature my Oxford comma post on Freshly Pressed (thanks for that, too, guys!)

This has been a rough week for me for personal reasons I may or may not get into later, so all the blog love has certainly lifted my spirits. (Especially from those Oxford comma-nistas out there who chose to pleasantly disagree with me. I know how hard that can be when you feel strongly about an issue …)
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And I apologize to anyone who’s had that Vampire Weekend song stuck in their head since reading it. If it makes you feel better, I can’t get it out of mine, either.
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Also — I know it might be hard to believe — this is not the first time I’ve freaked out and blogged about punctuation. I might feel more strongly about long-dash abuse than I do about the Oxford comma …
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Again, thanks for stopping by! I’m having fun checking out all your blogs now. See you again soon!

It’s Squirrel Awareness Month!

Screw Vegetarian Awareness Month … did you guys know it’s also SQUIRREL AWARENESS MONTH?! I knew there was a day of appreciation in January, but I was only recently enlightened that the entire month of October exists because of squirrels and our continuous need to be aware of them.

So, here are some squirrel-related items you should be aware of:

a) This sweet hat my awesome friend Eleena sent me when she found it at H&M in Portland

Squirrel hat

Squirrels in love!

2) The greatest commercial ever, starring squirrels. YOLO!

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What are your plans for Squirrel Awareness Month? Have you come across anything particularly squirrelly lately?

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