While awaiting the start of “The Hunger Games” at the theater the other day, a preview for “Titanic” in 3-D came on. Without missing a beat, I turned to Zach and, much to his chagrin, started reciting lines from the preview, perfectly in sync with the characters. (“They called it the ship of dreams. And it was. It really was.“)
See, like every 12-year-old girl growing up in America circa 1997-98, I was obsessed with that mesmerizing blockbuster. More precisely, I was obsessed with the one and only Leonardo DiCaprio. (Still am, really. Though I hear he’s a bit horrid-looking in “J. Edgar.”)
Now that it’s returned for one more magical stint in theaters — in 3-D, no less — I’m determined to re-create the experience all over again.
Which means I’ll need to watch it in the theater no fewer than five times.
And buy every copy of Tiger Beat and BOP and clip out every photo of Leo I can find.
And start a collection of said clippings, modge-podging my favorites to the outside of a manila folder that I keep with me at all times. Duplicates will line my locker, natch.
And record “My Heart Will Go” on cassette tape every time it plays on Star Station, Helena’s infamous purveyor of soft rock and adult contemporary hits.
And purchase not only the regular movie soundtrack, but also the second bonus release, called “Back to Titanic.” [That’s right. There was a second “Titanic” soundtrack, and I spent my (parents’) hard-earned money on it at ShopKo.]
And stay up until 2 in the morning with Ange-Pange, waiting for even more Leo photos to load on dial-up AOL. Yep, our love for him was so strong, not even dial-up Internet could keep us from expressing our devotion.
I know there are plenty other ways I could re-create that special time in my life, but I really shouldn’t embarrass myself by listing them here.
Seeing how bears are invading Missoula from all sides (or, humans are increasingly encroaching on bears’ habitat, depending on how you want to look at it), it’s now only a matter of when, not if.
One of my fave things about using WordPress for Squirrel Thoughts is that it tracks all the terms people search to get to the blog. And I’ve discovered that some people search for some pretty effed up things. Here, in no particular order, is a selection of some of the most amusing ones. Some of them correspond to actual posts; others seem completely random, and I’m mildly disturbed people found my blog by searching for them.
fat bunnies, fattest bunny (these are by far the most popular terms that bring people to Squirrel Thoughts)
Everyone’s making fun of poor 13-year-old Rebecca Black because the lyrics to her song “Friday” are basically the stupidest words to ever come out of anybody’s mouth.
But ya know, while I agree it’s not the most profound songwriting, you have to admit the song is pretty relatable. Come on, you know you want to get down on Friday, so stop pretending like you only want to have a nice glass of vodka juice and watch “30 Rock” reruns instead. And just try to name one person you know who doesn’t like parytin,’ partyin’ (yeah!) and fun, fun, fun, fun. That’s right — you can’t.
Still think it’s just some really, really dumb shit that you could have performed when you were 5, let alone 13? Well then, let’s break down a selection of the oft-ridiculed lyrics:
Now, what’s so bad about this? Artists have been throwing in random “yeahs,” “oohs” “ahhs,” etc. for years. She’s just singing and having a good time, haters. Cut the girl some slack.
Seven a.m., waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Who can’t relate to this? Everybody has to wake up sometime, and most people with the means enjoy a nice shower to start their day (or a nice sprinkle of patchouli, if you’re into smelling like a combination of flowers and dog doo).
And I know I become a raging beast if I don’t get my g.d. organic wheat puffs within half an hour of waking up. And they damn well better be in a bowl, preferably MY bowl, unless you want to start your day with a black eye.
Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take?
Remember when you were a teenager and the fate of your future relationship with your dreamy crush hinged on whether you could sit by him in the backseat of your friend’s car? Or, what if jumping to sit next to him would make you look really, really desperate and he would think you are really stupid and completely lose interest?!? OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG what should I do I have to choose right now because I have raging hormones and everything I do seems like the BIGGEST DEAL IN THE WORLD and I’m going to HATE myself FOREVER if I do the wrong thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These are not easy decisions, people!
It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend Friday, Friday Gettin’ down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend
Everyone’s looking forward to Friday!!! Unless you’re one of the poor souls who doesn’t have a convenient 9-to-5 weekday schedule, in which case Friday probably isn’t actually “your Friday” at all and you’re really, really sick of seeing “TGIF” posted everywhere on Facebook when you still have to work for another three effing days.
7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly Fun, fun, think about fun You know what it is I got this, you got this My friend is by my right, ay I got this, you got this Now you know it
You know what I love? Come on, you know what it is. Think harder. You got this. It’s … FUN!! And you know what’s the most fun thing ever? Having a friend sitting on your right! Know what’s even more fun than that? Having a friend sitting on your right, and a mere acquaintance sitting on your left!! That’s the best!!
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’) We-we-we so excited We so excited We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday And Sunday comes after … wards I don’t want this weekend to end
K, who can’t use a refresher on the days of the week every now and then? Think about it: How many times have you been at work, thinking it feels like Friday, but then you realize “shit, it’s only Thursday! I totally wanted to drink copious amounts of vodka juice and watch ’30 Rock’ reruns tonight, but now I can’t because it’s only Thursday! This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me!”
Now, if you’d been listening to Rebecca Black on repeat all day, you probably would have realized that Thursday comes before Friday and that you can’t just go straight from Wednesday to Friday without having Thursday first.
Unless you have some sort of super-sweet time machine, of course, in which case you should find something way cooler to do with it than just skip over Thursday. Like go back in time and tell Rebecca Black that singing this “Friday” song and making it available on the Internet is a really, really bad idea.
Squirrel Thoughts 